The Importance Vulnerablity

This week I sat down with a great friend that is discipling me. If you don't know what discipling is, check out my last post, I put a brief definition in there. It is always something hard for me to do when I tell her everything that I have done wrong since we last met. And yes, we are all naturally born sinners (check out this article for more information about that) but I still beat myself up continuously about it. I have a hard time accepting that I am weak, small and born into these tenancies. 

In the beginning of discipleship with my friend, I wouldn't tell her about a lot of my hard times. And she helped me understand the world, my hardships, and the biblical truth about them. One thing I really need to consistently tell myself is to be completely honest with my friends when I mess up. 

James 5:16 says: "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." 

And man, when I read this the other night it was like a mic drop! I had told my friend what I was currently struggling with and that I have improved in my way of thinking, but I still fell short of the Glory of God (which we are all going to do.). I told her of how much better I got at running to God in prayer, asking for forgiveness, and asking for healing when I messed up. And then she listened to all I had to say, and she just prayed for me. She didn't try and give me advice on how to stop sinful behavior and thinking, she knew my pain, and she knew that I just needed to be accountable. 

Something else came up in my reading this week about being weak. Recently I had suffered from a terrible cold which turned into Bronchitis and now has resulted in what my doctor can describe as the "displacement of the lungs."(After she told me that they were going to test for blood clots, which obviously made me nervous.) I had coughed so much that my lungs are not sitting the right way in the cavity. Which made it difficult to breathe and sing the last three weeks. So not only does this affect my voice studies but also my specific job in the Army and one of the basic requirements of being a soldier: passing a Physical Training test.

It was a trying time attempting to get a note from the on campus Health Services Center explaining what was wrong, even though they were the ones sending me to the hospital for chest x-rays. I had some misunderstandings with my supervisor if I was actually taking the PT test or not, and then to top it all off I forgot to bring a physical copy of the doctors note (I had to go to my real doctor back home). Thankfully I had it on my email so I just printed it off, but it was not something that my unit liked. 

So I had a moment where I was like, what if I am not strong enough to do my job that pays for school, provides me cheap health insurance, and gives me a future I can look forward to? 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  

I know that these coming weeks of recovering and working out again are going to be tough. I know that deciding when to do an internship is going to be tough, wether or not I can actually afford to not work and really relying on God to provide will REALLY be tough. But his amazing grace is more than sufficient for me. It is a free gift. Anyone can accept this. For anyone who has ever considered what following Christ can do, check out the latest message from my Pastor, Joshua Gagnon. It should be up by Tuesday (October 17th 2017) night. I pray for each and everyone of you reading this that you come to know and understand what Christ did for you. That you experience his love and compassion, and that your heart is set on fire to bring everyone with you to heaven! Amen!